Anyone can tell you what makes a wedding, a wedding.

Aisles upon aisles of people sit in a row, split on sides between families, looking up at an altar and smiling as a pair of people are joined in a union, be it legal, holy, or otherwise.

One word that you weren't so likely to hear used to describe a wedding, however, was [i]espionage.[/i]

On a glorious day in late spring, in a church filled with the natural and energizing light of the afternoon sun, a pair of males were walking down the aisle together, defying several traditions of a wedding in the process. Neither one of them seemed to care, and the general public around them didn't mind one bit, either.

A pair of stoats, each male was dressed as if they were the groom, wearing a pair of matching tuxedos. Fine, pressed black threads clung to delicate fur underneath, and while one of the males wore a bright, grinning smile, the other wore a thin veil of sweat on his brow, and an uneasy grin on his lips that might have bordered on nervous.

It was nothing out of the ordinary for a wedding day, of course; no one would have second guessed someone for being nervous on their wedding day, even if they truly did love the person that they were walking down the aisle with.

Just outside of the small, particularly private chapel, however, a pair seemed to disagree on just how much the males actually cared for one another.

"You can't [b]possibly[/b] be serious," came a firm, yet whispered voice from a raccoon, patterned in rather unusual colors. Squares of red and black looked like a large checkerboard across his body, covering most of his torso and spreading down the length of each of his arms. Wearing a suit that was entirely appropriate for the occasion, one could only see the black and red fur pattern upon his paws and his ears, but even that was enough to stick him out in a crowd. "I simply can't let you enter the chapel if you're going to try and stop this ceremony!"

A third stoat, this one of his own unique color pattern, was fuming with rage so palpable that steam was liable to start pouring out of his ears. "And if you really think that you're going to stop me from saving the man that I love from an early grave, you're [b]sorely[/b] mistaken!"

Pushing the stoat back from the doors of the chapel and messing up his own dress shirt, the raccoon tried to keep him as far back as possible, so his voice wouldn't carry into the ceremoney. "Keep you voice down!" he quickly shot back, while keeping a tight grip on the stoat's shoulders. "Now...try explaining to me- a bit more calmly, if you would...just what you're trying to stop?"

"The man in that church walking down the aisle with my lover is an imposter!" the stoat argued. Just under the smooth, silky fabric of his red dress shirt and black slacks was a duality of green and white, a fur pattern that would stick out on any creature. "He's fooled my lover into thinking that he's [b]me,[/b] and if I don't get in there to stop the ceremony, his life will be over!"

"Do you have any proof of this?"

The stoat sighed quietly and shook his head. "You'll have to take me at my word on this, but if you let me in there, I can break the spell and free him from this fate! I promise you, that man doesn't love him!"

"That isn't [i]nearly[/i] enough to convince me," the raccoon replied dryly. "Anyone could come up to a chapel and make up a story like this, just to ruin a special occasion for someone else. You're going to have to try a little harder than that if you want to get past me."

"It's his fortune."

"Hm?"

The stoat pushed back against the raccoon to try and free himself from the grip of the harlequin patterned vermin. "My lover is quite wealthy, and comes from a family that has guaranteed us a portion of the inheritance when his father passes. I'm sure that this treachery all roots back to the money involved...but [b]I[/b] loved him before I knew any of this; that man walking down the aisle with him will do away with him at his earliest convenience!"

Though the stoat was unaware of just how this imposter would do the deed, there [b]was[/b] a plan in place, and just above the chapel itself, hiding in the air vents, there was a contract killer, waiting for his own portion of the money after the ceremony was completed. He only needed to see a marraige license completed before he could make his move, and when that time came, he'd put his honed skill of ending lives to work, having no remorse for the way that he'd be ruining the day.

"I'd ask you if you had proof of this, but I get the impression that you don't...his father is in there, of course, and you'd need him to verify the fact, and I'm [b]not[/b] going to allow that to happen when the ceremony is already well underway!"

Without any timing to sense how close the ceremony was to being over, the green and white stoat wasn't going to waste anymore time dealing with the servant at the door. Gritting his fangs tight and narrowing his eyes, he shoved firmly against the raccoon and stuck his leg out, tripping the unfortunate usher to the ground and forcing him down harshly with a thick, meaty [b][i]THWUMP.[/b][/i] The raccoon immediately gripped his side in pain and winced his eyes shut. "Do [b]NOT[/b] go in there!" he yelled as he cringed, trying to ignore the sensation of dull, oozing agony that radiated from his hip, but the stoat ignored every word of it.

In truly dramatic fashion, he threw the double doors of the chapel open and stormed in, yelling to the priest at the front of the church.

"STOP! THIS CEREMONY IS A TRAVESTY!"

A collective gasp was the first answer to follow. People from both sides of the chapel turned back to the door with a myrid of different gazes; some eyes narrowed on the stoat in frustration and disgust at his lack of tact, while others widened their eyes at him in shock.

The only thing that was truly clear was just how unwelcome his presence was, even by those who obviously recognized him.

"And who, exactly, are [b]you[/b] to make such a statement, sir?" The priest called from the altar. Seeing the ceremony had been completely derailed, the priest hurriedly stepped down into the aisle and began to approach the slowly moving couple, who had finally stopped to turn to the source of the commotion. One of them simply didn't want to turn around...the other, however, didn't seem entirely able to.

Fighting back tears of frustration, the stoat pointed at his lover, despite the chagrin of the other stoat walking beside him. "I'm the man who should be walking down the aisle with him! This other stoat is an imposter...I don't know how, but he's made my lover forget all about the relationship that we share together!"

The priest was beyond unamused. He crossed his arms, ruffling up the long, silky robes of his outfit and tapped his footpaw impatiently at the green and white stoat, unimpressed with his outburst. "Do you expect me to believe that this other man is some sort of sorcerer?"

"I can't explain exactly [i]how[/i] he did it, but this man has turned my own lover against me!" claimed the green and white stoat. "Martin, it's me! It's Zeig! Don't you recognize me at all anymore?"

"Martin is perfectly happy with [b]me,[/b] buddy, and I'd appreciate if you would kindly leave the church and allow us to enjoy our wedding day!"

It was the first time all day that the other stoat managed to lift his voice, and frustration ran through it as deeply as the smallest creek ran through a canyon; hidden from view, but flowing furiously all the same.

Zeig, however, wasn't one to be dismissed so easily. 

"I have no idea what you've done to erase his memories of me, or what kind of hold you have over his mind, but until a month ago, Martin and I were betrothed to be married! Our families know this to be true, and [b]you[/b] only came into the picture when you stumbled upon his secret!"

Snickering and turning away once again, the mysterious stoat of the three shook his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about, stranger. You must have me mixed up with someone else...and Martin, for that matter. We've been in love for years, haven't we, dear?"

Mindlessly, Martin turned back to face Zeig, the man who he'd been involved with for so long...and slowly nodded his agreement. "As long as I can remember, my dear."

It was a painful moment for Zeig, who felt as though his heart was being pulled from his chest, right through the protective cover of his aching ribs. "Martin...you...you c-can't mean that...you don't even know this man!"

As his voice wavered, Zeig could feel the support of the crowd wavering with him, and many people were starting to turn their attention back to the front of the chapel, where the priest, unable to hide his disdain, was making his way back to the altar. "If there are no more interruptions...can we please get this ceremony back on the road?"

If not for the presence of a second interruption, he might [b]never[/b] have won Martin back.

"To think that you could throw our love away so easily...what kind of a monster are you?"

Even Zeig was shocked when yet a fourth stoat, this one coated with a thin layer of vibrant, painfully bright blue fur, barged into the room, seeing that the doors were open. Timeliness wasn't exactly his forte, but his voice was every bit as empassioned as Zeig's, and his eyes were already watering over with tears when he saw the accused imposter holding paws with Martin.

"W-wait...Thomas? What are you doing here?"

Rolling his eyes and turning around again, the priest couldn't help blinking for a moment as a small band of stoats stood together in the middle of the chapel, each one looking at the other with a mixture of pain and confusion in their eyes. The blue stoat, Thomas, had been betrayed by his own lover, the imposter...and Zeig, still beside himself with despair, was losing hope that he would ever have the chance to be with Martin again.

"I feel like I should be asking [b]you[/b] the same thing!" Thomas yelled back, ignoring the frustration of the priest, and all of the bystanders at the wedding. "When I was tipped off that you might be running away with another man, I prayed it was merely a rumor, but here I find you, walking down the aisle with some complete and total stranger!"

"Listen, Thomas...I...I can explain everything!"

The priest cut into the group and stood between the four of them, his frustration with the moment and the lack of respect for the sanctity of the moment boiling over. "I would like it very much if someone, perhaps [b]anyone[/b] would explain what the in the blue hell is going on here!"

Zeig narrowed his eyes at the priest, and then, back at the imposter. "I already told you! This man, whoever he is, has tricked my lover into thinking that he's me!"

"And that man happens to be [b]my[/b] lover," Thomas pointed out, shooting his own daggers at Zeig. "So if it's all the same to you, I'd like to have him back so we can be on our way!"

"Thomas, just let me finish this ceremony!" the imposter tried to mutter, through a set of grinding fangs. "Trust me!"

Despite his efforts to keep his voice down, there was no way that the priest wouldn't overhear his words at such a close earshot. "What was that...?"

"I just want to finish this damnnable ceremony!" he shouted, completely unaffected by the shock that ran through the crowd at his anger. "You idiots...you're...you're ruining everything!"

Thomas flattened his ears down to his head and turned slightly from the imposter, unable to hide the pain in his expression. "This...this isn't really what you want, is it? Are you seriously going to throw away everything we have for him?!"

It finally came to pass that the imposter was put on the spot, and with all eyes in the chapel resting on his skin like a thin layer of bugs, crawling upon him, fresh from the dirt, there was no way that he could weasel his way out of the situation.

"You [b]damned[/b] fool, Thomas! If only you'd just stayed home...I...no, [b]we[/b] could have been rich! Of course I didn't want you to find out about this ceremony...it was all a hoax!"

The contract killer waiting in the ceiling quickly crawled his way back out of the air vents of the chapel and disappeared from the scene as quickly as he could, deciding that the contract was broken, now that the ceremony was destined to fail. Back in the chapel, however, the priest stood directly behind the imposter and narrowed his eyes upon him, seething with rage.

"Did you really just admit that this whole ceremony was [b]fake?![/b]"

"Of course it was! What kind of a fool goes to marry someone after having only known them a month?!"

A pained gasp erupted from the crowd, followed by a hush of silence that carried every bit as much weight as the noise that came before it. 

"I don't love this fool! I hardly know who he is! If these two hadn't come along, I might not have even remembered that his name was Martin! The only reason I needed to know his name in the first place was so that I could brainwash him...and get my hands on that lavish fortune that he's due!"

The truth had been out in the open all along, just like Zeig suggested, and it seemed that with his plans ruined, the imposter didn't have a single kind bone left in his body.

"Figures...I'll just have to find another idiot to dupe into marrying me. You'll never see me in this podunk town again...farewell, you fools! The love you share is a lie!" the imposter declared as his final words, before a cloud of smoke enveloped his body. With a thick, heavy [b][i]FWOOOSH[/b][/i] that swept through the open air of the chapel, the imposter disappeared, and as the smoke faded, a soft sparkle appeared in Martin's eyes, and he collapsed down to the floor.

In the aftermath of the moment, the family and friends in the chapel were left to stand in confusion and wonder as Zeig went down to his knees, tending to Martin and looking up at Thomas with a hint of that same confusion.

"How...how did you know about all of this?" Zeig asked, as Thomas fought back his tears. "How did you know where to find us, and what was going on?"

"He made the mistake of leaving his social media open at home..." Thomas admitted, gritting his fangs just slightly. "I never knew that he w-was capable of such a thing, b-but...that'll show me to trust someone that much, I guess..."

It was clear in his pain just how much Thomas truly loved the nameless imposter, though, after seeing all of this, it was doubtful that Thomas trusted him enough to believe whatever he heard his name might be. 

"Well...we're forever in your debt, for coming forth to stop this mistake from happening. I truly can't thank you enough, Thomas," Zeig admitted, as he looked back down to Martin, who was finally starting to stir back awake. "M-Martin? Martin, baby...please come back to us..."

There was a faint, lingering glaze over Martin's eyes as they started to open once again, but it was the honesty in his voice that finally brought a smile to Zeig's lips once again.

"Zeig...w-what...what happened...?"

Zeig couldn't keep the joy from his face as Martin started to come back around. His eyes were still glossy, and his mind was still foggy, but there was a lack of malice in his expression, one that said he was truly starting to recognize Zeig once again.

"I can't be entirely sure what that man did to you, Martin..." Zeig started to explain, though he was short for words. "All I know for sure is that the spell is broken...if you know who I am once again, I can be sure that the spell is broken!"

Thomas was still disappointed in his own fate, but he couldn't keep a faint smile from curling over his lips at the genuine happiness that Zeig and Martin shared together. 

He also hadn't been forgotten, despite his thinking otherwise. 

"Thomas...that was your name, right?" Zeig asked, looking up at the blue stoat once more.

"Yes, it is..."

"I'm sorry that you ended up being roped into all of this."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Zeig. If anything, you have my deepest apologies that the man that I loved would cause you so much trouble, all for the sake of some petty cash..."

"Well, it wasn't [i]just[/i] some petty cash," Zeig admitted. "Martin's father granted us quite a large inheritance, despite never truly approving of our relationship...when Martin started acting strange and suddenly decided that he wanted to be with your lover, instead of staying mine, his father didn't really question anything..."

It turned out that Zeig was wrong about Martin's father being at the wedding ceremony; he wasn't in attendance at all, as a form of protest against Martin making the rapid and foolish decision to marry someone only a month after having met them.

"It's starting to come back to me a little bit...Thomas...I've never met you before," Martin suggested, "But I remember meeting the other stoat...I was out for coffee one afternoon. I was going to bring some home after work, to Zeig, and he was there...I never ended up making it home that evening, did I?"

"No," Zeig confirmed, as he shook his head just slightly, "You didn't. That was one of the last times I saw you before this false ceremony."

"I just can't believe that Vassar would cause anyone so much trouble," Thomas cut in. "He was always so kind to me. I'd never known him to have a bad bone in his body."

Martin let out a soft sigh. Taking Zeig's paw in his own, he was able to stand up with just a little assistance. "Money can lead people to do terrible things, especially if they're desperate enough," he said. "I'm still not sure how he found out about the inheritance, but that's the only thing I really remember him talking about."

"Perhaps I've just been under a spell this whole time, myself," Thomas pondered. "I know that I love Vassar, I truly do, but I can't tell you exactly why...I know love is a strange and unpredictable thing, but after a moment like this, I can't help wondering if he's the right guy for me."

"Maybe you could wonder about that some other time?!"

The poor priest, who was working on his day off, was clearly at the end of his patience with the whole situation. Despite this, Martin and Zeig couldn't help sharing a chuckle at just how crazy things had become...given the unusual circumstances by which they'd been reunited, however, it was hard for anyone to blame them for being at least a little giddy.

"S-sorry," Thomas quickly replied. "I understand that I've caused more trouble than I'm worth, today."

"Not at all," Zeig corrected him. "You've brought the love of my life back to his senses and saved him from making a terrible mistake. I owe you a debt far greater than I can ever repay, Thomas. You're more than welcome to stay and enjoy the rest of the [b]real[/b] ceremony, if you so desire."

"If we can just get this thing back on track..." the priest muttered under his breath, clearly not thrilled with the idea of the blue stoat sticking around any longer.

Thomas shook his head, closing his eyes in a moment of shame. "No...that's very kind of you to offer, but I don't want to impede on this moment any further. I wish the both of you all the happiness that this world can offer...and hopefully I can find my own, wherever he's gone to."

It was a shame to see Thomas go with such a pain upon his expression, but Martin had no further words to offer him, and though Zeig reached out to him, the blue stoat was not to be stopped. To the faces of the confused crowd, he offered a bitter, sideways smile and did his best to leave without any further fuss.

In what could only be described as the aftermath of perhaps the most confusing wedding ceremony ever, the silence in the crowd was broken, and murmurs erupted on both sides of the aisle at what had occured. Though it was an entirely different pair than the one that had started the day, it was the [b]right[/b] pair, and even the priest could see it, as Zeig held onto Martin and helped him up toward the altar.

"Uhm. So. You two still want to get married or what?"

A priest at the end of his wits still managed to be the voice of reason at this most unusual of ceremonies, and though Martin was still rather weary from the hypnosis, there was a warm and eager smile upon his lips at the thought of spending the rest of his life with Zeig, just like they'd always talked about.

It wasn't the way that Martin would have preferred his wedding day to start, but after what Zeig had been through in the past month, he felt that he could put up with his wedding day being less than perfect to make up for what he'd done.

"I'd love nothing more," Martin confirmed. "That is, of course, if Zeig is still willing?"

Zeig nodded as firmly and eagerly as he could without breaking his neck. "It's what I've wanted all along, Martin...I can't begin to put into words how happy it makes me to have you here with me again!"

Though he was still clearly frustrated, the priest finally joined in a quiet chuckle with the pair of stoats, going back to stand behind the altar for them. "Well, if you two are still sure, after everything that's happened today, I certainly have no reason to doubt the strength of your relationship. If the two of you still wish to be married today...I'll oversee the ceremony after all, but let's hurry on up with this, shall we?"

"Sorry to keep you waiting so long," Zeig replied, assisting Martin up to the altar and refusing to let go of him. Once the pair of stoats stood before the priest, the murmurs in the crowd faded away, and finally, the proper wedding was under way, and money was no object to anyone involved...only love.