Photo of newspaper headline: Lawsuit Against Wizard Being Filed.

Voice Over 1: In a surprising turn of events, a wizard is being sued for causing a colossal catastrophe. The plaintiff, Thomas O'Brien, (photo of same) was reportedly in the house of famed wizard (photo) Ellis the Enchanter when, after ingesting a flying apple (film) supposedly enchanted by Ellis, O'Brien was inflated into a sphere over five yards in diameter. O'Brien then filed suit against the wizard (photo of courthouse) in Supreme Court.

Cut to outside of courthouse.

Reporter: Mr. O'Brien didn't ask to be inflated, Mr. O'Brien didn't want to be inflated. Furthermore, despite recovering from the encounter with Ellis's "black magic," so called, it still causes him great pain.

Ellis: Hey, it was an accident!

O'Brien: No, it wasn't, you were trying to kill me!

The two argue.

Voice Over 2: Neither party was available for comment.

Cut to drawing.

Voice Over 1: Just five days after the O'Brien-Ellis case, a similar suit was filed against witch Ms. Melissa by the victims of the Uptown Elementary fire. The losses in both lawsuits cost the Government millions.

Montage of newspaper headlines.

Voice Over 1: The cases were just two in a long and steadily growing string of lawsuits against wizards and witches of all ages, races and creeds throughout the world.

Cut to U.S. President.

President: It is time for every wizard and witch's "mortal" identity to become their only identity. Time for them to join us or go away.

Cut to a protest march carrying banners.

Voice Over 1: Under incredible public pressure and rising debt...

Montage of newspaper headlines.

Voice Over 1: ...from the ever growing chain of lawsuits, the President quietly signed into law the Black Magic Discouragement Act, which states that all witches and wizards in the United States would be pardoned for past claims if they agreed to permanently cease the practice of black magic. Where are they now?

Cut to pedestrians walking along street.

Voice Over 1: They are living among us: average, everyday people, indistinguishably working hard to make our world a better place.